At some point in my life, I stopped being a morning person. I used to jump out of bed at 6:00 am and start my day. I would get my son up for school and be halfway through my routine. Fast forward to now, my alarm goes off at 6:00 am pleading with me to get out of bed and I have already turned it off knowing the next one will go off in half an hour. 6:30 comes and I sit up and try to find the energy to get up. I walk down the hallway into the living towards my son’s room. I turn on his light and let him know it’s time to get up. He gets out of bed and walks into the bathroom to shower. Then I go back to bed.

This has been my “routine” for months.  I used to be so structured, so organized. So ready to wake up and start the day. So, this morning I changed it up. Last night I set my alarm for 5:45 a.m. And another for 5:50 a.m., 5:55 a.m., and 6:00 a.m. I turned off the snooze. Knowing that, if I gave myself the option, I would just fall right back into the same pattern. I did not set a timer for 6:30 hoping that if I didn’t have an alarm to wake up my son it would force me to stay awake. And it worked, in a way. Did I go back to sleep without a care in the world as to whether I would wake up on time? No. But it also didn’t stop me from turning back over and closing my eyes, in an attempt, to keep sleeping. It did, however, make me more aware of the time and because of that i couldn’t completely relax to the point of falling back asleep. So, small win, right?

6:30 comes and I get out bed to wake up my son. He walks into the bathroom and I walk back towards my room. I fall right into my old routine and attempt to go back to bed. So instead, I prop my pillows up against the wall. I won’t lay down. It must be better right? So, I sit in bed. I call the dog over and scroll through Facebook. Is any of this productive? No, but it’s better than sleeping. I text my fiancé a picture of a save the date I like and a picture of our dog. I text him “I still haven’t gotten dressed.” “I’m the worst.” “I found pants.” “I put on a sports bra. Be proud.” He replies, “Now just have some coffee and you’ll be good to go.”

I finish getting dressed and take my son to school. I drive over to Planet Fitness and linger in the parking lot for a minute and go inside. 45 minutes later, I finished my workout. Nothing crazy, 30 minutes of light cardio and some arm workouts. I walked out of the gym and walk over to my car and drive home. I text my fiancé. “I finished.” “I did it.” I walk inside and make myself a smoothie hoping that this time I can stick to this.